In Praise of Impeccable Training

This Wednesday, I will have a heart-valve-replacement surgery.

It’s a significant surgery, but it is also a rather routine surgery these days and not high-risk.

It will be performed by Dr. Jose Navia, the Director of the Heart and Vascular Center and Chairman of Cardiothoracic Surgery at Cleveland Clinic in Weston, Florida. Cleveland Clinic is the top hospital in South Florida. Cleveland Clinic’s mother campus is ranked the best cardiology hospital in the world on Newsweek’s World’s Best Hospitals 2023 list. Their Weston Hospital, as well, is ranked among the Top 250 hospitals in the world.

I am in good hands.

Here’s what I am re-learning as I go through my pre-op visits and testing: It takes more than hiring skilled talent. It’s training, stupid.

My first contact with the clinic is with a telephone operator on the hospital’s general phone line to book an appointment with their top surgeon. I have no history with Cleveland Clinic. Don’t know anyone there.

The individual speaks with clear diction and authority. Conveys competence. Is efficient without rushing me. I am in the presence of a skilled communicator.

I have had numerous calls with other operators since that first call. Different people, but each experience very much matches that first call: Clear communication. No mumbling. Complete sentences. No robotic recitation of a learned script. Simply an efficient and unforced sense of competence conveyed by the operator.

I didn’t just get lucky. My experience transcends hiring great people. No - everyone has clearly been trained to a certain communication standard. They embody and execute this standard.

That’s the power of impeccable training.

What Good Training Does.

My first appointment with Dr. Navia is scheduled on a Wednesday afternoon at 4 pm.

At exactly 4 pm, Michelle, a nurse, opens the door to the waiting room, calls my name and ushers me into a patient room. Within the span of an hour, I interact with 4 individuals. Michelle, Lauren, a Nurse Practitioner, Dr. Navia, and Anthony, the care coordinator.

I don’t go to their offices, they come to the patient room to engage with me.

They come in a carefully orchestrated sequence. But here’s what really stands out for me:

Each individual sits down and is fully present as s/he engages with me.
No one seems rushed, hurried or distracted.
No one is checking cell phones or dashes off mid-conversation to deal with an emergency.
Each person impresses me with clear and easily followed communication skills.
Each individual conveys an easy sense of competence.
I experience each person in a similar way, regardless of age or rank.

Did I simply get lucky? Heck no. Each person – individually gifted, no doubt – has been trained to a certain performance standard. This standard is embodied and lived.

Within an hour, I have met with 4 very busy people and never felt rushed. That’s what happens when there is a process that works. That’s the outcome of impeccable training.

When I go back to Cleveland Clinic to have an angiogram done, my partner, who is accompanying me, notes: Nobody here is rushing. I actually feel myself relaxing.

That is by design.

The wide check-in desks in each lobby and hospital department are fully open, without partitions of any sort, much like registration desks in an upscale hotel.

That is by design.

The hallways in the buildings are extra wide and spacious. Visitors and staff can move about with ease, and without worry of bumping into others.

That is by design.

Lobbies are super-sized, with ample, modern, individual beige-and-chrome lounge chairs, a variety of seating areas, ample wall outlets for getting some work done, and tastefully bold, modern wall art. Like what you would find in the lobby of an upscale hotel.

Yup, by design.

“Empathy by design” is a Cleveland Clinic motto. It’s a culture choice. It is tangible. I feel it while I am there.

Here’s why I take pains to describe my experience at Cleveland Clinic for you. If Cleveland Clinic can do it, so can you and I.

I know you don’t run a hospital. You, perhaps, do not actually have a staff or team that you need to train. But what sort of experiences are you creating, on your own, by design, by choice?

You and I can train ourselves to a Cleveland Clinic communication standard.
If you have folks who work for you, you can train yourself and your team to an explicit behavioral standard. A standard about how you conduct meetings. About your written communications. About the rituals with which you engage with each other. The sort of experiences you seek to create for each other and for those you serve through your work. And you can hold each other to those standards.
The moment a standard is clear and explicit, it’s easy to train to it. Why not train to a higher standard?

When we create experiences by design, enhanced experiences are the outcome. Impeccable training is a key success differentiator. It brings a standard to life.

I have had some moments of anxiety leading up to my surgery on Wednesday. There have been loads of tests to get done and preparations to make. I have, however, no anxiety about the surgery itself. Absolutely none. And I’m not in denial. I simply have full and unwavering confidence.

That is the power of well-trained professional excellence.

7 Blind Spots That Will DERAIL Your Career

Brian is wicked smart. Aced his MBA program. Was tagged “high potential” the second he joined the corporate work force. Promoted faster than others. Given teams to lead. Promoted again. And again.

Until he wasn’t.

When I have a call with Alexandra, Brian’s VP of Human Resources, I hear all the ways in which Brian has pissed people off. The list is long. The details aren’t pretty.

Brian needs to get out of his own way, Alexandra says to me with a sigh.

I have always loved this saying.

When I have Brian on the phone, I appreciate Alexandra’s choice of language even more. I find Brian to be bright and quick and charming. I instantly understand that Brian doesn’t mean to piss people off. There is no malice. He simply doesn’t know any better.

I find myself thinking of all the ways in which you and I will get in OUR own way. Brian’s behavior brings to mind the phrase “blind spot.” The stuff about us that is frequently visible to others but not to ourselves

A blind spot, so goes the APA (American Psychological Association) definition, is a lack of insight or awareness - often persistent - about a specific area of one’s behavior or personality, typically because recognition of one’s true feelings and motives would be painful. In classical psychoanalysis, it is regarded as a defense against recognition of repressed impulses or memories that would threaten the patient’s ego.

If you want to be successful, you must respect one rule. Never lie to yourself."
Paulo Coelho

We create blind spots to protect ourselves from who we really are. In the act of this self-protection, we inflict more personal pain on ourselves and the people we engage with. Ouch.

In his classic leadership book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There,” Marshall Goldsmith describes 20 archetypal behaviors of leaders who have moved up the ranks into roles of increasing authority. 20 behaviors that don’t serve them now. They likely didn’t work too well in their past, either. Personal blind spots.

Here is my own list of the 7 major blind spots that I witness in my work as an Executive Coach, informed by 20 years of doing this work. All of us, whether we work in corporate life or not, are susceptible to these blind spots.

Because we’re human. Because we want to succeed. Because we carry pain that longs to be masked.

7 Must-Avoid Blind Spots

7. Forcing Outcomes

You want to succeed. Badly. Chances are, you have been rewarded for this desire to succeed. They have called you a go-getter. A winner. Because of this strong desire, you may at times get impatient with colleagues who challenge your ideas. You may cut short discussion or conversation that seems to interfere with what you have in mind. You may be tempted to promise outcomes that others tell you are not possible to achieve. And when what they have warned you about becomes reality, you drive your colleagues even harder to make it work.

Your ambition, no matter how well-intentioned, has just met your dark side.

6. Acting Grandiose

Grandiosity means firmly believing that you’re smarter than others. Know more than you perhaps actually know. You disregard tribal knowledge because you view yourself as an innovator and not a tradition-worshipper. Devalue the contributions of those who are perhaps not as articulate or energetic as you.

Even if you are the smartest person in the room, smart never gets you much of anything. You run danger of becoming the jerk in the room. And in business, as in all of life, we don’t create sustained success when others don’t want to play with us.

5. Avoiding Complexity

You believe that the best solutions are simple. You don’t like people that complicate things. You affirm that great leaders know how to simplify complexity. True. But please remember that they only do so by embracing complexity first. Walking into it. Welcoming ambiguity. Fully facing all that is not easily understood or codified. They lean in. They do not avoid.

There is a fine line between simple and simplistic. Know where that line is.

4. Not Making Decisions

It’s the opposite of forcing outcomes, acting grandiose, avoiding complexity. We keep conducting more and more data research before we believe we’re ready to decide. We ask for more scenario planning, more risk analysis. We hire yet another consultant and speak to one more group of Key Opinion Leaders. We don’t ever feel like we have enough information to make a well-considered decision. We habitually second-guess ourselves. We live in perpetual mental overwhelm.

Enough. We think we can predict outcomes. Memo from the pandemic – we can’t.

3. Trying Too Hard

You’re doing all the right things. You praise people. Involve your team in decision-making. You have a genuinely positive outlook. You take great steps to make sure you’re likeable. You go the extra-mile to communicate well with everyone.

All the right things. For many, it’s all just a bit too much. Too perfect. They want to scream Enough already. Relax and stop trying so hard. So relax, please.

2. Trusting the Wrong People

The wrong people? That’s the people who maybe don’t have the very best ideas. The greatest integrity. Or perhaps don’t even have your back. They DO know how to ingratiate themselves with you. They play you well. They make you feel good. You, in turn, reward them with plum assignments or a speedy promotion.

Trust substance over flash, integrity over joviality. Above all, know the difference.

1. Making It About YOU

This, in many ways, is the shadow of all shadows. The Blind Spot that encapsulates most of the others. You’ve been encouraged to take ownership of your accomplishments but somehow it comes across as grandstanding. You have been told that ambition is a wonderful thing – but what you didn’t “get” is that it’s ambition for the collective success they want, not your own. And anything you say – even when it is about THEM – somehow always sounds like it’s about you.

Humility escapes you. Because deep down, very deep down, you fear that you will never be enough.

We need to forget what we think we are so that we can really BECOME what we are."
Paulo Coelho

There is only one remedy to overcoming blind spots. Radical self-awareness.

Shine a light on your blind spots. Make the invisible visible. Invite frequent feedback. From the right people, not the wrong ones. Work with a therapist or a coach. Engage with communities where the engagement is never about your personal success. Where you can let go.

Be curious about the pain that you may be hiding. Be courageous enough to open the door to that pain. Unmask it.

Fewer blind spots will be your reward. More everyday ease. And you will, in the words of Paulo Coelho, BECOME more of what you are.

Amen.

The Beauty of Power Sprints

It’s been crazy, Rhonda, VP of Talent Management at a global pharma company, said to me last month.

3 nights in a row I have been working until 1 in the morning. Sigh. Too much. Too much.

Yup. Crazy. Rhonda knows this can’t go on. The situation screams under-resourced. And as is the case in every under-resourced scenario, it begs the question of how we make use of our time.

The following morning, I sat in my car at 5:30 am (now you might think THAT is crazy), driving to meet my trainer for a work-out. I was listening to an old episode of my colleague Meredith Bell’s marvelous “Strong for Performance” Podcast. Episode 100. Meredith was chatting with renowned Business and Life Coach David Wood.

David and Meredith talk about Power Sprints.

The basic idea is this. Work in chunks of 4 Power Sprints. 25 minutes of focused work, followed by a 5-minute break. 3 more of these chunks, followed by a longer break of 15 - 30 minutes.

The bad news is Time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot."
Michael Altshuler, motivational speaker

Power Sprints remind me of the function of sprints in the Scrum Agile work methodology. They are the building blocks of the Pomodoro technique, a time management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s in Italy. Pomodori are 25-minute bursts of focused work, followed by a 5-minute break.

Power Sprints make me think, as well, of what I know as an Instructional Designer for training programs. Give people too much information too quickly, and the brain shuts down. Overload. Great instructional design delivers information in manageable chunks, followed by time to absorb and synthesize. Sprints. Breaks.

We’re talking personal energy management here.

All the Power Sprints in the world will not save Rhonda in her extreme resource crunch. But as I listen to David Wood and Meredith Bell in the car, my mind is reconnecting a couple of dots. We have time, and we have personal energy. More successful people harness these 2 dots, and their synergy, better than others.

Let us dissect the rewards of being a power sprinter, shall we?

4 Benefits to Working in Sprints

I use time consciously.

By dividing my work time into small, manageable chunks, I set myself up to be successful in accomplishing my tasks. And by making these chunks deliberately shorter than the traditional 1-hour time unit embedded in corporate life, I heighten my focus and minimize the urge to distract.

The psychology of it? I like to feel like I have accomplished something in my 25 minutes. I want to step into my 5-minute break with a sense of completion. And because I commit to my 5-minute break and don’t like to have “unfinished business” looming over me, I have fortified my drive to complete a task or sub-task. Most importantly, I don’t negotiate away my 5-minute break as I have done with all of the lunch breaks I promised myself I would take and never do.

I generate flow.

By working in manageable sprints, I make it easier for myself to fully surrender to a task. This full surrender supports a sense of complete engagement. I am less likely to dilly-dally, more likely to commit. Because I know that a break will be coming up. My commitment, at its finest, leads to a state of flow. Flow is the ultimate work-joy experience where I am so immersed in what I am doing that I, ironically, lose all sense of time. Which leads us to the next benefit.

Either run the day or the day runs you.”
Jim Rohn, motivational speaker

I track my use of time.

When I keep a timer running as I work, I stay mindful of the passing of time. While you might think, gosh, doesn’t that create a lot of pressure?, it actually does the opposite. I don’t have to obsess about time because a gadget is tracking it for me. But because I am tracking how I spend my time, I remember the choices I make within that time. This mindfulness encourages constant recalibration and adaptation. Time doesn’t just “get lost” or disappear. I generate a higher sense of accomplishment with my time which feels GREAT.

I rejuvenate myself.

Sounds wonderful, right? By incorporating frequent breaks in between Power Sprints, I prevent mental and physical fatigue. Beware, however. You will be tempted to “power through” your breaks, especially when a task is not yet completed. Taking a break goes against how many of us are conditioned to work. We push and push and push until we crash.

The biggest opportunity for many of us aren’t the Sprints. No, it’s the breaks. We don’t know how to take a break. We want to check more emails, go on line, catch up on news. You know. What does it look like for you to actually STOP? For just 5 minutes? What might you do in those 5 minutes that is not about further stimulating your brain? Gaze out at nature? Listen to calming music? Meditate? Go for a quick run around the block? Experiment. Explore new habits for your breaks. Fully stopping may be your new revolutionary frontier amid the Power Sprints.

About Rhonda.

Here’s what she and I kicked around. We had the classic “do you really need to attend all those meetings conversation.” You know that one, as well. For the need-to-be-present but not top-tier-critical meetings, consider this. Let the leader of the meeting know that you’re eager to attend but due to other pressing deadlines, can only stay for the first 25 minutes.

Whenever possible, power-sprint that meeting. Take your break. Move on. Makes a heck of a lot of sense, doesn’t it?

How To NOT Be A Brilliant Jerk

I had a conversation with my friend Shwan Lamei last week. A former rising star in a traditional corporate manufacturing enterprise, Shwan chucked it all a few years ago to found Emulate Energy, a global firm committed to creating technology that stores energy in a more cost-effective and sustainable manner.

Shwan and I chatted about his leadership team. What began as a 2-person start-up is now a firm with 18 employees and rapidly expanding. As Shwan described the folks on his leadership team, he declared with pride:

We don’t have any brilliant jerks.

Reed Hastings is the cofounder and just-retired CEO of Netflix. Hastings co-authored the New York Times bestselling book “No Rules Rules: Netflix and the Culture of Reinvention.” And he popularized the term brilliant jerk.

Here’s what Netflix does with brilliant jerks: It gets rids of them. Some companies tolerate them, Hastings explained. For us, the cost to effective team work is too great.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”
W.C. Fields

While Freud recognized that there are a near infinite variety of personalities, he identified three main types: erotic, obsessive, and narcissistic.

Brilliant jerks often carry narcissistic traits. They are not easily impressed. They tend to be innovators, driven in business to gain power and glory. Productive narcissists are experts in their industries, and they excel at posing critical questions. They want to be admired, not loved. Of all the personality types, narcissists run the greatest risk of isolating themselves at the moment of success. Their achilles heel? They are often sensitive to criticism because, well, they are brilliant! And they tend to be poor listeners who lack empathy (from “Narcissistic Leaders,” Michael Maccoby, HBR, 1/2004)

Search the net, and you will find a slew of articles on how to manage brilliant jerks. Be forewarned, the guidance is not encouraging. You will also find equal amounts of wisdom in line with Hastings’ advice. Screen them out. Don’t hire them.

My essay is for you, the brilliant one. You ARE brilliant. Have been top of your class for as long as you can remember. Have been told, again and again, that you are smarter than others, faster than others, more exceptional.

Great. I salute the brilliance in you.

And you’re clear that you do not wish to be that jerk. I salute that desire, as well.

I coach lots of smart and often very brilliant people. Let us consider the following guard rails as you unleash your brilliance in the workplace.

How To Use Your Brilliance For Good

Drop Special-itis Thinking.

It’s the paradox. You were told for years how special you are. And you ARE. You were told how gifted, how impressive, how exceptional you are. And you ARE.

You were consistently affirmed in a comparative sense. Told that you were smarter, quicker, more brilliant than others. You likely were.

It is near impossible to not start thinking that you are better than others.

That’s special-itis. Drop that thinking, at once. It will not serve you at your place of work. It will get you nothing.

Consider this your essential mindset adjustment. You ARE brilliant. Bring your brilliance to work. You ARE special – and you are not more special than anyone else.

Bury any special-itis you may have, once and for all. Now.

Don’t Be the Interjector.

You think fast. You sometimes think faster than others. Fast thinkers get impatient with slower thinkers. As the slower thinker is making their point, you are wont to interject. You do it because, well, you have another brilliant insight. Interject because you already “got” what the other person is saying and don’t need to hear the rest. Interject because you are ready to rebut what the other has just stated.

You’re itching to zip it along.

Don’t. Interjection is brilliant-jerk-behavior at its worst. Say what you’re itching to say after the other person has finished their thought. Don’t wear your impatience on your sleeve. Allowing others to finish demonstrates basic respect. A willingness to perhaps be surprised. You believe in those values, don’t you?

Stay in the moment.

This is the second layer to thinking fast: You are frequently 3 steps ahead of other people. You get bored with conversations – because you already had the present conversation in your mind, by yourself, a week ago, with no one else present. I get it – if you had the conversation in your mind a week ago, figured out the present dilemma then, well the current conversation will feel mighty boring.

I have watched senior leaders tune out in meeting after meeting because they don’t have the need for the conversation at hand. They are 3 steps ahead. Problem is, everyone else DOES need the conversation that is happening.

The solution is always the same: Notice your run-away thoughts. Observe your impulses to check out. Don’t. Check in with yourself. Check in with others. Check into the present moment.

If you are 3 steps ahead, remember: 3 steps ahead, on your own, gets you nothing but isolation. Our job is to bring people along. Always is. That happens in present-moment-conversation.

Don’t be dismissive.

You don’t mean to be dismissive. You have been raised to not be rude. You got the memo.

And yet, at times, when someone shares an idea that you think is tired, outdated, trite, not innovative, you just can’t help yourself. Your dismissiveness slips out.

It may happen via an eye roll. An exasperated sigh. Or it may happen via a comment that is tinged with a sense of superiority. We have tried that 2 years ago and it didn’t work. That will never work HERE. I don’t think you have fully thought this through. Let’s move on to some other suggestions.

That is brilliant-jerk-behavior. Especially when delivered with an edge in your tone.

Don’t do it. Consider this, instead. When you don’t think an idea is remarkable, when you don’t agree with a suggestion, don’t do battle. Simply say Thank You. And stop there,

We have all worked with brilliant jerks. It is so easy to spot brilliant-jerk-behavior in others, isn’t it!

If a certain brilliant jerk really ticks you off – I mean really, really ticks you off big-time – consider your reaction an invite toward a bit of self-reflection. Chances are, the behavior that plugs you in big-time is a behavior that you judge within yourself, repress, or have engaged in at times yourself, perhaps in more subtle ways.

What are some ways in which I have behaved like a brilliant jerk?
What are brilliant jerk instincts I see within myself?
What are brilliant jerk thoughts that frequently roam the halls of my mind?

Contemplate these questions. Honestly, without judging yourself. Awareness of our own brilliant-jerk-tendencies is the starting point to not becoming one.

Why HUNGER Trumps EXPERIENCE

You, too, have been denied. Sat in the annual HR performance review and were told that it wasn’t your time yet. Because you needed a little more operational experience. Need one more international rotation first. Needed, needed, needed.

Didn’t check ALL the boxes.

Needs more experience.

Hunger Is worth more than experience, said David Cote, former CEO of Honeywell, in an interview in the Harvard Business Review (HBR, January/February 2021). David Cote, considered by many one of the most successful corporate CEOs of his generation, is the author of the book “Winning Now, Winning Later.” And he is unequivocal about the experience part.

In general, experience is overrated, David Cote asserts as he speaks about selecting Corporate CEOs. Someone can have a bunch of different experiences but still not be a change agent. Experience can make directors feel more comfortable with a candidate, but the question is: Does she or he have the hunger to make a difference?

I think of CEOs I have known who have jumped from one CEO role to the next, leaving in their wake organizational systems that were functional but often not exceptional. Yet in their new role, they got busy, at once, recreating the unexceptional workplace systems they came from.

Because that was the experience they were hired for.

Any leader needs to be open to all facts and opinions, declares David Cote, recognizing that he or she will not know everything. An experienced CEO might say. “I’ve seen all this before, so I know what to do.” That can get in the way of soliciting all the facts and really listening to what people have to say. Sometimes experience can be a detriment.

Hunger, in a business playground, is such a wonderful word. What sort of hunger are we talking about here? The hunger to succeed, surely. The hunger to exceed past successes, perhaps? The hunger to be a more brilliant leader?

Let’s take a look.

Cultivate a Hunger for …

Bold Transformation

Incrementalism is the enemy of transformation. So is band-aid leadership. Small operational improvements may, indeed, be needed where you work. Make them happen. Such changes are, however, often born of frustration with the old. They are rarely animated by a hunger for audacious transformation.

Transformation begins with the willingness to question everything. Reimagine everything. Without a pre-packaged answer. Reimagine roles, layers of management oversight, all business structures, functions and decision-making rhythms.

Sound good? Well, when you are hired for past experience, a radical questioning of present-business-reality is often not desired. Even when they told you in the job interview that they want you to be a change agent. Perhaps that’s what you heard. Perhaps that is actually what they said. Reality is, words notwithstanding, all forces are summoning you to recycle previous experience, not champion transformation. Be hungry for bold, please.

Perpetual Learning

A perpetual-learning-mindset rests on the premise that I, no matter how experienced, have a lot left to learn. Because I have been hired for my past experience, the pressure to recreate past experiences is tremendous. This pressure to be the experienced one may well get in the way of learning or, as David Cote so nicely put it, soliciting all the facts and really listening to what people have to say. Learning from those who have a lesser title than I do. Learning from everyone in my professional ecosystem. Learning from other companies, or data, or research, or anything that falls outside of my cone of experience.

At what point does my experience become the jail of old ideas? To what degree have I internalized the notion that my ideas are better than those of others because of my years of experience? And how quick am I, conscious or not, to dismiss the ideas of a new generation of employees because they lack experience?

Giving Your Power Away

This is the insanity of how we hire for very Senior roles. The required-experience-checklist tends to get longer and longer. Yet the things we’re expected to have lots of experience in we won’t actually be doing ourselves. Someone will lead Operations for us. Marketing. The Commercial side of the enterprise. There will be seasoned leaders on our team who “own” those functions.

We simply need to lead. Well. Period. Hire brilliant talent. Allow this talent to lead. We lead by giving our power away to them. We lead by guiding, yes, by listening, by mentoring, by challenging and inspiring. We certainly don’t lead by our deep expertise in every job function that reports to us. Our experience resides in leadership, regardless of expertise. Our hunger is for being an ever-better leader. Better leaders give more power away. You don’t find that competency on the required-experience-checklist.

Caution: Beware of what I call young-buck-hunger. It’s the hunger of wanting to do something bigger, faster, better than ANYONE else has EVER done before. It’s a win-at-all-cost hunger. It tends to be animated by an insatiable ego that doesn’t pay attention to context or listen to others.

It’s the hunger that wishes to go it alone. A hunger that devours everything in its wake.

If you’re a highly experienced leader who keeps being moved into bigger and bigger roles because of your expertise, chances are you will increasingly be asked to mentor younger talent. GREAT. As you climb, please consider the following: Get yourself a younger mentor of your own. Someone from the next-generation-talent-pool who YOU are supposed to mentor.

Make sure this is an individual you trust. Savor that relationship. It’s how you keep your hunger right-sized and fresh.

Personal Chemistry Is NOT a Lucky Accident. Go Get Some.

Time flew. We could have talked forever. What a great conversation.

Does this sound like the description of a great first date? Why not the description of a great business chat?

When we’re lucky, there is personal chemistry. Some people are luckier than others.

Let’s get some luck.

I’m an early riser. I used to on occasion catch a bit of early morning CNN. New Day with Alisyn Camerota and John Berman (the show is no more).

They had chemistry. One of the reasons I watched.

Here’s what their chemistry looked like: Berman and Camerota bantered well. They effortlessly picked up on each other’s cues. They were quick. They created space for humor and whimsy. Most importantly, there were no signs of one-upmanship. Berman and Camerota seemed to genuinely enjoy each other. There was a gleeful twinkle in the eye when they addressed each other. I’m here to tell you that in no small measure, personal chemistry is a choice.

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
Carl Gustav Jung

When CNN reshuffled its programming a year ago, it paired Camerota with the affable Victor Blackwell, weekend New Day anchor, to co-host a weekday afternoon program. The chemistry each had had with their previous co-hosts went ‘poof.’ It was painful to watch Camerota and Blackwell next to each other. There was a sense that each was grinding through the program. There were no sparks. No spontaneity, no joy.

Two highly talented people couldn’t make it work. That program, also, is no more. So let us dispense with a few chemistry myths.

With some folks, great chemistry will never happen. Agreed. Chemistry, however, is possible with folks whose personality type is different from ours. Whose interests don’t entirely match ours. Whose life story and experience are very unlike ours. Great chemistry transcends personal differences.

Another myth, perpetuated by a field of study called NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming): If the other person uses visual cues, answer with visual cues. If they use auditory cues, respond in kind. Yes - this sort of matching of behaviors can, indeed, accelerate connection. It does not, however, guarantee chemistry.

We cannot force chemistry. But your and my behavior have the power to facilitate chemistry. People who sustain personal success have greater chemistry with more people than those who don’t.

Here are a few things that folks who are more frequently “in chemistry” do well.

Switch with ease between driving and being driven.

There are those individuals who just like to drive the car. Hard. All the time. Chemistry with someone like that can be hard to come by. Try to match a hard-charging driver, and the conversational verve will soon end up in a ditch.

Chemistry is much more likely when the role of conversational driver shifts back and forth between two individuals. The shift happens regardless of institutional authority. It happens organically, without pre-meditated cues. It happens in the moment because the moment demands who drives.

There are those individuals who just like to drive the car. Hard. All the time. Chemistry with someone like that can be tough. Try to match a hard-charging driver, and the conversational verve will soon end up in a ditch.

I call this co-driving. Not backseat driving. No - the intuitive sharing of the driver role. Try it.

Have a genuine appreciation of the other.

Berman and Camerota had it.

What made the dynamic between Camerota and Berman compelling was that they seemed rather unlike each other. They weren’t the “made of the same cloth” best buds from the sports team that like to get drunk together after the game. No - they were two individuals who displayed distinctly different personas. Chemistry in the face of personality difference is possible because the difference is acknowledged and appreciated.

Genuinely so.

Sense energy.

Ideas are energy. Emotions are energy. This energy can be harnessed or squelched. Folks who are more readily “in chemistry” with others sense this energy. They know how to ride it and expand it. They know how to sink into it. They’re also keenly aware when a communication is about to die. They sense this before it is blatantly obvious to everyone else. They choose to shift energy with a light touch.

Light touch does not mean “kill a conversation,’’ trivialize a tough topic or avoid conflict. Yes, there is that word again, shift. And because they do the shifting with a light touch the other person happily follows.

They are, in the best sense of the phrase, energy workers.

Be relentlessly curious.

In a professional setting, true chemistry is impossible if we’re not curious about another person. Curious about what animates that person. Curious about the ideas being expressed, even when we disagree with them. When another person is primarily a transactional necessity or a barrier that I need to overcome (or more specifically, get what I want!), chemistry will not happen.

Genuine curiosity cannot be faked. I can tell, on the unspoken soul- or spirit-plane, whether you’re interested in anything that emanates from me. When you’re not, it registers. You will receive transactional behavior, in turn. We may have a perfectly pleasant, productive and professional conversation. Chemistry won’t happen.

There is shockingly little research about Jung’s “two chemical substances.” If you desire a neuroscientific exploration of this dynamic we call chemistry, check out the research by Uri Hasson at Princeton. Hasson researches how people get into sync. He calls this process neural coupling. A fine entry point to Hasson’s work is this TED blog that elaborates on Hasson’s fine 2016 TED talk:

What happens in the brain when we hear stories? Uri Hasson at TED2016

Chemistry will NOT happen with everyone. It’s a relief to know that, isn’t it! But your and my behaviors will facilitate chemistry. So GO, be a chemistry-facilitator. More chemistry invokes more enjoyable human encounters.

What a cool thing that is.

The Gifts of Succinctness

The Oscars were handed out last night. One of the technical categories that got celebrated is Film Editing.

I admit, I’m one of the legions of diehard Everything Everywhere All At Once fans. I love just about everything about that movie, including the stellar, often rapidly-paced editing.

Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan, Jamie Lee Curtis, Stephanie Hsu, James Hong and the entire rest of the cast know that I, the viewer, never actually get to see the scenes they shot. I get to see a highly edited, streamlined, laser-focused version of their work, where footage that is deemed inferior gets deleted and other footage, in turn, is elevated via edits.

Real life isn’t movie life. In real life, you and I act as our moment-by-moment communication editors.

Edit smartly, please.

If you can’t explain something in a few words, try fewer."
Robert Breault/Opera Singer

Here are a few things I have learned as I record the third season of my podcast, MY FOURTH ACT: Some guests are easy to follow, some harder. Some deliver crisp messages on a silver platter, some meander. Some think succinctly, and some do not.

And I had to face the fact that I, too, can be repetitive and not as succinct as I would like to be. Ouch.

I think of this every week as my podcast producer, Hugo Sanchez, and I edit podcasts. We do post-production work to ensure that every guest, and I, sound crisp and clear. An everyday business conversation, of course, is not a podcast chat. If anything, there is room in a podcast conversation to be a little more expansive. Tell more stories. Get a bit elliptical, perhaps. Ride a wave of whimsy.

No Hugo edits you and me in our daily business conversations. It behooves us to have a keenly developed sense of how to clearly articulate our thoughts, craft a succinct message, and most importantly, craft it in a way that lands with impact.

It all depends on the circumstances and who we speak with, you may say. Yes, it always does. And yet there are, regardless of circumstance, some basic principles that will always help us be more succinct.

How To Be An EFFECTIVE Self-Editor

Think, then speak.

It seems so obvious – and it isn’t easy to execute. When someone asks us a question, we feel an instant pressure to answer quickly. Answer before we have settled on what we actually wish to say. Answer because we “should” be able to answer the question. Answer because we don’t wish the silence before the answer to be misunderstood. So we launch into an answer and make it up as we go along. Chances are, we will ramble. Chance are, succinctness flies out the window.

Tip: Take a second or two before you speak to collect your thoughts and settle on a message. Period. End of story. When you do, being succinct will be so much easier.

Don’t make me work so damn hard.

When you just start talking, and then keep talking as you figure out what your message is, you are making me figure out what your message is alongside you. If we get lucky, you get clear quickly. If you get lost in the fog of non-clarity, I get lost in the fog with you. I will end up working way too hard to understand the point you wish to make. You will exhaust me. And you will annoy me just a bit. Because the point you wish to make should land on the shores of my brain with ease.

Tip: Start with clearly stating your message or point-of-view, then elaborate. It will help you to stay on point. It will help me to “get” your point and follow along.

Don’t tell me everything you know.

When I ask you a question, please just answer the question. Don’t also answer questions I didn’t ask. I realize that may seem self-evident – but when we are asked about an area of high expertise for us or a topic that we’re very passionate about, the temptation to over-communicate is tremendous. We want to offer more context. We want to dive into complexity and nuance. Resist. Answer the question simply, and if the other person longs for more information, s/he will jump in with a follow-up question based on the answer you provided.

Tip: 90% of all questions are easily answered with no more than 4-6 sentences. If you habitually offer longer answers, you are likely over-answering AND wearing down your conversation partners.

Please, stop.

I hear executives all the time who make a statement, are finished (or so it seems to me), add another sentence or two and are finished again (or so it seems to me), and then add yet more information. I urge you develop a clear sense of when you’re done. Know when you have delivered a message and STOP. Keep it simple by reminding yourself to deliver one main message at a time when you speak - not multiple messages or mixed messages. It is such a relief for the listener when your message is clear, simple and clean. And when you STOP to indicate that this is so. We will be so grateful to you.

Tip: Avoid multiple endings when you speak. Avoid the temptation to throw more than one message into a response. Your message is always more powerful when the listener knows that you’re done. Because you stopped.

Don’t always wish to be succinct? Here’s where the beauty of storytelling comes in. Because when it comes to storytelling, you get to be un-succinct.

Know why you are telling the story, and then revel in some of the details of the story. Help us see, feel, sense and smell the place where your story takes place. Take your time. Transport us into the experience of being in the story with you. The sensual details will do the transporting. Your succinctness will not. In a story, succinctness will give us the executive summary of the story – but if you desire the emotional pay-off of a story, luxuriate in the details.

Exceptional communicators excel at mixing up the succinctness of a clean message with the luxuriating experience of a story well told – and not succinctly at all. It is a beautiful mix to behold.

Edit yourself consciously. Edit yourself well.

It’s an essential leadership and life skill.

Social Power Is Real. Play With It WELL.

You need to stop being a doormat, Reverend Mona said to me.

I was 34 years old at the time. Artistic Head of an internationally acclaimed educational theatre company in New York. Hot shit, so I thought. For the first time in my life, I had taken 6 weeks off to stay in a retreat center in Arizona. This stay included a week of psychological processes to dig into the guests’ mental wiring.

That’s when Mona laid it on me.

A doormat? I found myself getting indignant when I heard those words. Didn’t Mona understand that I was a successful theatre director? Lauded by critics? How dare she!

Mona’s words, I know now, changed the course of my life. I thought my accomplishments were borne of my smarts, my creativity, my fine communication skills. Yes, they were. And yet, there was a whole other dimension of personal impact that eluded me.

My relationship to power. My own power. And the power of others.

Like many, I had internalized a belief system that power was a dirty word. So I ignored power. And, along the way, minimized my impact in the world.

My ability to tap my inner sources of power defines how I ‘show up’ in the world.”
Achim Nowak, Infectious: How to Connect Deeply and Unleash the Energetic Leader Within

Doormat-ism is one end of the hidden power spectrum. Hot-shit-ness is the other. Both are flip sides of the same coin.

Robert Cialdini’s “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” is a classic text in the field of influence. Cialdini emphasizes the need to understand personal power tools if we wish to have influence. I have since learned that psychologists have developed power models to help us understand the elusive dynamics of interpersonal power.

In my work as an Executive Coach, I use a framework I developed with Miami psychologist Dr. Margarita Gurri. The principle is simple. You and I have 5 primary sources of personal power. Margarita and I call these sources Power Plugs. Just as we plug a light source into a power socket, you and I have the potential to plug into our own sources of power

In turn, every individual we engage with has her or his Power Plugs. If I wish to amplify my influence, it behooves me to plug well into my sources of power and “play well” with the powers of the other person.

Sound complicated? It really isn’t. It starts with being conscious of a source of personal power and then making choices about how to use this source. Let’s do a deeper dive into one of the 5 Power Plugs. Position Power. The authority that comes with the formal professional role we play. On the surface, this is an obvious source of power. Let’s break Position Power down into some variables I urge you to consider.

How to Navigate Position Power

Position power seems easy. You can hire people. Fire people. People with less position power often defer to you. And you get the corner office.

None of this, of course, means terribly much. Position Power doesn’t inherently get you anything, certainly not earned respect or influence. Yet your Position Power is always “hanging in the air.” Consider the following variables as you figure out how to effectively claim this source of power.

Let It Be.

Don’t emphasize your Position Power. Don’t minimize it. Don’t “play the boss” or act like your team members’ “best buddy.” Don’t joke about your Position Power. Don’t use it as a weapon. Just let it be. Everyone around you knows the powers of your role. Let it be.

When it comes to making a decision, be clear on who is making the decision. Some decisions will likely be made together with your team. There may be majority-rule decisions. There may be consensus-decisions. Don’t abdicate your position power by surrendering every decision to your team. No matter what your philosophy of collective decision-making may be, make sure this philosophy doesn’t turn into an abdication of the authority that comes with your role.

Minimize Power Differentials.

I conduct a bunch of Executive Coaching with very Senior leaders in a well-known Big Pharma company. This company is helmed by Jean-Marc, a universally beloved European CEO. The leaders I support at times participate in group meetings with Jean-Marc. In a highly stratified global enterprise with multiple business streams, a 1-1 meeting with Jean-Marc is rare. So when David, Head of Sales for one of this company’s hot new assets, had one of these rare 1-1 meetings, an hour long, I was very curious about how it would go.

Jean-Marc was fantastic, David said to me after his 1-1. He made the conversation so comfortable. He asked me some personal questions. He shared personal stories of his own and talked about some of his aspirations. He made the conversation very relaxed. Then David added, after a pause. Jean-Marc really put me at ease.

Jean-Marc clearly understands that every time he has a conversation with any member of his pharma enterprise, there is a power differential. Folks may be nervous when they speak with him. Uptight. Guarded. And Jean-Marc has embraced a communication style that minimizes this power divide for others. That’s Position Power, well played.

Your Position Power Never Goes Away.

In the context of Position Power, Jean-Marc clearly has more power than David. David’s Position Power, however, doesn’t diminish just because he is speaking with someone who has more. It is wise to be mindful of the Position Power of another. It is never wise to abdicate our own or throw it away.

Mind you, I know very few people who intentionally abandon their authority when engaging with “a boss.” Our social conditioning about how we speak with folks who have Position Power, however, is deep-seated. It started in our early days of childhood. And it is likely operating on an entirely subconscious level.

Excavate Your Power Conditioning.

I support individuals with very high Position Power. I was born into a family that hails from humble social beginnings. While my Dad had a successful career as an architect for a Division of the German Foreign Service, it was clear to me that when we were assigned to a German embassy somewhere in the world, we didn’t rank very high in the power structure of that embassy. Nobody explained this to me. I simply absorbed it, every time I watched my mom act like a servant when she spoke with “someone important.” Mom did not consciously act like a servant, of course. She was simply performing her own subconscious power dance.

For me to engage effectively with folks of high Position Power, I had to excavate my hidden power conditioning. See it, know it, release it. I can’t show up as the little boy from the German embassy world any more.

You have your own version of this power conditioning. Every one of us does. It is operating as your hidden power blueprint. Excavate this blueprint. Make it conscious. Your influence in the world will always be limited if you don’t – even when you get promoted into a role of high Position Power.

The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.”
Ken Blanchard

Influence is THE key lever to having an impact in the world, not personal power. Yet we will never have true influence in any aspect of our lives if we do not understand – and play well with - the hidden language of power.

In this Post, I have started to merely scratch the surface of one of 5 Power Plugs. There are 4 more. Without a keen understanding of all 5 of these Power Plugs, our impact in the world will always be diminished. We will continue to hit familiar walls. Crumble in the face of the same old barriers.

Don’t crumble, and don’t be diminished. In my work I see, over and over again, that understanding the hidden language of power dynamics is THE threshold where personal influence starts to expand.

Learn this language. Speak it well.

What Happens When We FEEL Into Things

I received a note in my LinkedIn message box last week.

Nice to be connected to you. Would you be interested in receiving a copy of my new book xxxxxx, and you can feel into me being on your podcast?

The writer is a professor at Stanford University. She teaches conscious leadership, and I adore her very conscious use of the phrase feel into me being on your podcast.

Nice.

There is a certain grace about feeling into things. And, you may wonder, what exactly does “feeling into things” look like?

Last Thursday I had a planning meeting with 3 esteemed colleagues. We’re supporting a leadership team at a biotech company that’s in the midst of some major firefighting. Folks are under-resourced. Overworked. Burned out.

This meeting wasn’t about more data collection. Crafting surveys. Planning focus groups. There wasn’t time.

No, it was a time to feel into a situation. What sort of action would be helpful, what wouldn’t? Based on our collective wisdom. Years of experience. Finely honed instincts.

In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels."
Daniel Goleman

Does this sound a tad woo-woo? It’s not. We’re in emotional intelligence territory.

Daniel Goleman, Harvard professor and author of the classic “Emotional Intelligence,” has spent 25 years writing books and fostering research on the feeling part of being a leader. Goleman has found that emotional intelligence is comprised of 4 domains: Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management.

Nestled within these domains are 12 core competencies. My Stanford professor’s message was nodding to one of these 12 – Emotional Self Awareness. As I read her book, would I feel excited enough about having a conversation with her?

My biotech planning meeting nodded to another – Organizational Awareness. What are the moods and social dynamics within the workforce right now? Which sort of intervention might support, which might hinder a greater sense of well-being and productivity?

Let me un-woo-woo the notion of feeling into things a little more. Here are some of the signals an emotionally intelligent leader considers.

Feeling Into Inner Signals

Notice Your Emotions

Feelings can be marvelous when they “feel good.” Unsettling when they don’t. They offer valuable information about our relationship to the activities we’re engaged in. Feelings, as the saying famously goes, aren’t facts. They are, however, key indicators about our inner state of affairs.

When we are super-busy, we often do not have time to notice how we feel. We’re too busy getting things done. We may say to someone I don’t have strong feelings about what’s going on. Indeed, you may not. Or you may be so busy that you don’t notice how you feel. When we don’t notice how we feel, we cut ourselves off from a key source of inner intelligence. Our clarity and effectiveness are measurably diminished.

Consider Your Emotions

Take fear, for example. We may consider our fear as a factor in whether we move forward with an action. We may decide that our fear necessitates a mindset shift around a specific action. A different tactic, perhaps. Or we may decide to be afraid and take the action, anyway.

We are robbed of any of this consideration when we are too busy to notice what we feel. You know the individual that says I’m just not a very emotional person? Chances are, this person is often making less fully informed decisions. Because emotional intelligence has not come into play.

Feeling Into External Signals

Sense What is NOT Being Said

It’s the classic read the room suggestion. Or read the mood of your entire professional playground. You may be gung-ho about a new initiative or idea. Notice the signals of others as you talk about this idea. Notice their body language, their energy, their silence, the spirit in which they respond, or don’t. These are all key predictors on how well any of what you’re excited about may actually play out.

Feel into what is not being said. Consider it essential information. This implicit intelligence data may prompt you to probe more deeply. It may nudge you to approach your new initiative differently. Ignoring, or not noticing, what is not being said is never an option. It will cost you dearly.

Make an Empathetic Decision

Explore beyond noticing external signals. Consider the WHY behind these signals. We consider the WHY not by conducting a detailed analysis of the signals we see but by, instead, putting ourselves into the shoes of others. WHY do they feel the way they feel? How would I feel if I were in their shoes, facing the same circumstances they face? Empathy is our ability to feel into what others may be experiencing. Empathy has no opinion or judgment about the experience of others. It does not connote agreement or disagreement. When we have felt into the experience of others AND allow it to impact our decision-making, we will always make more holistically sound decisions. Such decisions yield better outcomes than decisions not informed by empathy.

Here is another conversation I had last week. Victor, a Top-level HR executive, speaks to me about being in meetings with Martin, his company’s CEO.

Martin has a lot of emotional intelligence, Victor says to me. I admire that about him. We often go into a meeting with a strategy that we have agreed on. But more often than not, as we are in conversation with other people, Martin will actually change his mind and go in a slightly different direction.

A less savvy person might get frustrated with Martin changing course. Might see it as a sign of weakness. View it through an emotional intelligence lens, and Martin’s change of course is likely prompted by the very factors we have examined in this article:

Martin senses within that what he had planned isn’t quite right. Emotional Self Awareness.
Martin reads the externals well. Yes, he listens to what is being said, but he also pays attention to all that is NOT being said. Organizational Awareness.

Feeling into situations is a beautiful thing. It also generates better outcomes.

Always does.

How To Lead With A Bit More Feeling

Received this note in my LinkedIn message box last week.

I am a podcast host like you and launching my book xxxxxx. Nice to be connected to you. Would you be interested in receiving a copy of xxxxxx, and you can feel into me being on your podcast?

The writer is a professor at Stanford University and teaches conscious leadership. I admire her very intentional use of the phrase feel into me being on your podcast.

Nice.

There is a certain grace about feeling into things. And, you may wonder, what exactly does “feeling into things” look like?

Last Thursday I had a planning meeting with 3 esteemed colleagues. We’re supporting a leadership team at a pharmaceutical company that’s in the midst of some major firefighting. Folks are under-resourced. Overworked. Burned out.

This meeting wasn’t about collecting more data. Crafting surveys. Organizing focus groups. There wasn’t time.

In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.”
Daniel Goleman

No, it was a time to feel into a situation. What sort of action would be helpful, what wouldn’t? Based on our collective wisdom. Years of experience. Finely honed instincts.

Feeling into a situation means paying attention to what feels right, what doesn’t. It may require tossing well-wrought plans to the wind.

Does this sound a tad woo-woo? It’s not. We’re in emotional intelligence territory. Daniel Goleman, Harvard professor and author of the classic “Emotional Intelligence,” has spent 25 years writing books and fostering research on the feeling part of being a leader. Goleman has found that emotional intelligence is comprised of 4 domains: Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management.

Nested within these domains are 12 core competencies. My Stanford professor’s message was nodding to one of these 12 – Emotional Self Awareness. As I read her book, would I feel excited enough about having a conversation with her?

My pharma planning meeting nodded to another competency – Organizational Awareness. What are the moods and social dynamics within the workforce right now? Which sort of intervention might support, which might hinder a greater sense of well-being and productivity?

Let me un-woo-woo the notion of feeling into things a little more. Here are some of the signals an emotionally intelligent leader considers.

Feeling Into Inner Signals

Notice Your Emotions

When we are super-busy, we often do not have time to notice how we feel. We’re too busy getting things done. We may say to someone I don’t have a strong feeling about what’s going on. Indeed, you may not. Or you may be so busy that you don’t notice how you feel. When we don’t notice how we feel, we cut ourselves off from a key source of inner intelligence. Our clarity and effectiveness are measurably diminished.

Consider Your Emotions

Take fear, for example. We may consider our fear as a factor in whether we move forward with an action. We may decide that our fear necessitates a mindset shift around a specific action. A different tactic. Or we may decide to be afraid and take the action, anyway.

We are robbed of any of this consideration when we are too busy to notice what we feel. You know the individual that says I’m just not a very emotional person, right? Chances are, this person is often making less fully informed decisions. Because emotional intelligence has not come into play.

Feeling Into External Signals

Sense What is NOT Being Said

It’s the classic read the room suggestion. Or read the mood of your entire professional playground. You may be gung-ho about a new initiative or idea. Notice the signals of others as you talk about this idea. Notice their body language, their energy, their silence, the spirit in which they respond, or don’t. These are all predictors on how well any of what you’re excited about may actually play out.

Make an Empathetic Decision

Explore what may lurk behind external signals. Consider the WHY behind these signals. We consider the WHY not by conducting a detailed analysis of the signals we see but by, instead, putting ourselves into the shoes of others. WHY do they feel the way they feel? How would I feel if I were in their shoes, facing the circumstances they face?

Empathy is our ability to feel into what others may be experiencing. Empathy has no opinion or judgment about the experience of others. It does not connote agreement or disagreement. When we have felt into the experience of others AND allow it to impact our decision-making, we will always make more sound decisions. Such decisions yield better outcomes than decisions not informed by empathy. They always do.

Here's another conversation I had last week. Victor, a Senior HR executive, speaks to me about being in meetings with Martin, his company’s CEO.

A less savvy person might get frustrated when Martin seems to change course. Might see it as a sign of weakness. Viewed through an emotional intelligence lens, Martin’s fluidity in thought is likely prompted by the very factors we have examined in this article:

Martin senses within that what he had planned isn’t quite right. Emotional Self Awareness.
Martin reads the externals well. He listens to what is being said, and he also pays attention to all that is NOT being said. Organizational Awareness.

Feeling into situations is a beautiful thing. It also generates better outcomes.

Always does.